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The Lottery Ticket by Anton Chekhov
Book, page 51 / 221



"I will feed a thousand families for two hundred days. Come and
see me tomorrow to talk it over."

I was pleased that this was said quite simply, and was glad that
Sobol answered me still more simply:

"Right."

We paid for what we had and went out of the tavern.

"I like going on like this," said Sobol, getting into the sledge.
"Eccellenza, oblige me with a match. I've forgotten mine in the
tavern."

A quarter of an hour later his horses fell behind, and the sound
of his bells was lost in the roar of the snow-storm. Reaching
home, I walked about my rooms, trying to think things over and to
define my position clearly to myself; I had not one word, one
phrase, ready for my wife. My brain was not working.

But without thinking of anything, I went downstairs to my wife.
She was in her room, in the same pink dressing-gown, and standing
in the same attitude as though screening her papers from me. On
her face was an expression of perplexity and irony, and it was
evident that having heard of my arrival, she had prepared herself
not to cry, not to entreat me, not to defend herself, as she had
done the day before, but to laugh at me, to answer me
contemptuously, and to act with decision. Her face was saying:
"If that's how it is, good-bye."

"Natalie, I've not gone away," I said, "but it's not deception. I
have gone out of my mind; I've grown old, I'm ill, I've become a
different man -- think as you like. . . . I've shaken off my old
self with horror, with horror; I despise him and am ashamed of
him, and the new man who has been in me since yesterday will not
let me go away. Do not drive me away, Natalie!"

She looked intently into my face and believed me, and there was a
gleam of uneasiness in her eyes. Enchanted by her presence,

 
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