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The Parent's Assistant by Maria Edgeworth
Book, page 181 / 462


Finsb. (packing up band boxes). Well, ma'm, I'm glad I have your
approbation. It has ever been my study to please the ladies.

Farm. (throws a fancy mantle over his frieze coat). And is this the way
to please the ladies, Mrs. Landlady, nowadays?

Finsb. (taking off the mantle). Sir, with your leave--I ask pardon--but
the least thing detriments these tender colours; and as you have just
been eating cheese with your hands--

Farm. 'Tis my way to eat cheese with my mouth, man.

Finsb. MAN!

Farm. I ask pardon--man-milliner, I mean.

                        Enter LANDLORD.

Landlord. Why, wife!

Landlady. Wife!

Landlord. I ask pardon--Mrs. Newington, I mean. Do you know who them
ladies are that you have been and turned out of the Dolphin?

Landlady (alarmed). Not I, indeed. Who are they, pray? Why, if they
are quality it's no fault of mine. It is their own fault for coming,
like scrubs, without four horses. Why, if quality will travel the road
this way, incognito, how can they expect to be known and treated as
quality? 'Tis no fault of mine. Why didn't you find out sooner who they
were, Mr. Newington? What else, in the 'versal world have you to do, but
to go basking about in the yards and places with your tankard in your
hand, from morning till night? What have you else to ruminate, all day
long, but to find out who's who, I say?

Farm. Clapper! clapper! clapper! like my mill in a high wind, landlord.
Clapper! clapper! clapper!--enough to stun a body.

Landlord. That is not used to it; but use is all, they say.


 
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