The Parent's Assistant by Maria Edgeworth - A complete eBook in pages (170 / 462)

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The Parent's Assistant by Maria Edgeworth
Book, page 170 / 462

Landlady, in the name of wonder what are you?

Landlady. Mrs. Newington, Mr. Newington.

Landlord (drinks). Mrs. Newington, Mr. Newington drinks your health; for
I suppose I must not be landlord any more in my own house (shrugs).

Landlady. Oh, as to that, I have no objections nor impediments to your
being called LANDLORD. You look it, and become it very proper.

Landlord. Why, yes, indeed, thank my tankard, I do look it, and become
it, and am nowise ashamed of it; but everyone to their mind, as you,
wife, don't fancy the being called Mrs. Landlady.

Landlady. To be sure I don't. Why, when folks hear the old fashioned
cry of Mrs. Landlady! Mrs. Landlady! who do they expect, think you, to
see, but an overgrown, fat, featherbed of a woman, coming waddling along
with her thumbs sticking on each side of her apron, o' this fashion?
Now, to see me coming, nobody would take me to be a landlady.

Landlord. Very true, indeed, wife--Mrs. Newington, I mean--I ask pardon;
but now to go on with what we were saying about the unpossibility of
letting that old lady, and the civil-spoken young lady there above, have
them there rooms for another day.

Landlady. Now, Mr. Newington, let me hear no more about that old
gentlewoman, and that civil-spoken young lady. Fair words cost nothing;
and I've a notion that's the cause they are so plenty with the young
lady. Neither o' them, I take it, by what they've ordered since their
coming into the house, are such grand folk, that one need be so
petticular about them.

Landlord. Why, they came only in a chaise and pair, to be sure; I can't
deny that.

Landlady. But, bless my stars! what signifies talking? Don't you know,
as well as I do, Mr. Newington, that to-morrow is Eton Montem, and that
if we had twenty times as many rooms and as many more to the back of
them, it would not be one too many for all the company we've a right to
expect, and those the highest quality of the land? Nay, what do I talk

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